“I met moustachio’d swim hunk David Wilkie,” says @michlan, who goes first. “He talked to me at our sports day.” This IS David Wilkie, Scottish swimmer. But unfortunately, it’s NOT @michlan. I don’t think. Just pretend, ok? POSED BY MODELS hahahha

Well.

If you are halfway lucky in life, primary school will be your first realisation that the world can be a cruel place.

The lumps in the playtime milk, scraped knees splashed with Dettol and supply teachers with PMT and no idea who’s who… the boys blanking you to gawp at Carole Smillie sunbathing in her garden just over the fence. (Ok, just my school then.)

I really wouldn’t want to go back. But sometimes, a special moment can give you a beam of school nostalgia for those days in a grey uniform and tight hair bobbles. For me, it’s the memory of the Boys v Girls general knowledge quiz on my last day at Simshill Primary School, Glasgow.

The quiz was a weekly event and the girls always got gubbed. But on this occasion, I won it for the lassies. A dead heat, with bell clanging on our last ever Primary lesson, the answer to ‘Who wrote War and Peace?’ came from nowhere. “COUNT LEON VON TOLSTOY!!” I screeched, bunchies wobbling, and with no clue what brain bowel this nugget had plopped from. I was still on a high at my Highers!

So what about you?

@HenceHemmo “I raised loads of money for Guide Dogs for the Blind and got to present it and meet a guide dog!” But don’t wonder at Hemmo’s precocious altruism just yet, pals, there was another tweet. “But I had only done it because I thought the harness meant you were allowed to RIDE the guide dog.” Dear God. (That contributor was last seen heading to the gynaecologist in jodhpurs.)

Trying not to gloat over her early adoption of Scandic minimalism, @sophie_irving reveals her air-punch of Primary was “Winning an easter egg competition with a plain boiled egg.” Crackin.

The youth of today (ok, yesterday) have NO respect. “Sticking my finger in a strawberry tart during a royal visit to stop the Duchess of Kent getting it,” beams @elsieanderton. (This shot shows the moment The Duch has just heard through her security earpiece that the kid’s being taken out and flogged.)

@shequeen defies all the laws of hymen physics here, namely “Being Mary in the Nativity TWO YEARS IN A ROW!” *swaggers*

There’s a lot of theatrical crowing around.

“My nan was caretaker,” tweets @nicolaridings. “She retired & 10 mates & I wore countrydance outfits & sang Starmaker from Fame to her.” BOGGLE ME SIDEWAYS!

“Playing a set of legs in a giant caterpillar that went to the shops to buy a cabbage… for a tv program called Watch,” tweets keen Stanislavsky student, @Pinny40. It’s not confirmed that she lived in a bag of Florette for a week first to prepare for the role.

Tune in again tomorrow! Another Bedtime Question to set you pondering! @lesleyjones