How did this happen?

My dad is 70 this summer and I just can’t get my head around it. It seems like just a moment ago he dropped me on my head doing the Lambada at his 50th. (That’s concussion for you.)

I have a son who’s not out of primary school but talks like Dizzee Rascal and says “NAAAAAAACE” when Nigella Lawson comes on telly. This makes me feel like an OAP. But then I have a midlife crisis every time I’m called to do womanly things like paying car tax or boil-washing vomit out of a duvet cover. I expect my mother to bustle in at any moment and do it properly while I get on with taping the Top 20 or something. Because I am too YOUNG for all this.

I am 42.

So what about you?

“Not recognising anyone apart from Take That at the Brit Awards,” tweets @meemalee with her finger on the pulse of over 30’s everywhere, mystified why pop stars keep their anoraks on indoors and SHOUT. Yes, agrees @goodshoeday. “The Brit awards and someone remebering 1995 as a teen.” (I’d be happy to remember 1995 as anything. That was a big ‘social’ year for me.)

Over in @pinny40’s world, things are getting serious.  “I’ve started clicking my fingers when I dance!?!?!? I don’t even know I’m doing it… help me!” You’re not clicking them, dear. That’s the sound of your arthritic knees.

An oppo for manufacturers here from @melliebuse. “When, in the shower, I scream “Why can’t they write the word Shampoo in BIG LETTERS?” cos I’ve just washed hair in anusol.” Now there’s a tweeter who doesn’t know which way is up.

“Bending to tie my laces and wondering what else I can do while I’m down there,” admits multitasking @almacdse1

@soul_of_twit has climbed out of the mosh pit of life and is keeping a mature head on her shoulders. “My excitement at the full reveal of the Hay Literature & Green Man Festival line ups. Used to be Glastonbury and Bestival.”

“Going drinking with a 24 year old at the weekend and remembering that I’d changed his nappy,” pipes a mature @amnotfunny. Whoah. Out DRINKING? You’ve sill got it, girlfriend.

But the definitive multi-tweet list comes from @hestherbrowne, who has obviously been giving the onset of old age a lot of thought (before she loses her faculties.)” Seeing ‘period drama’ on tv & loudly noting incorrect details. Considering ‘throat cream’. Going ‘ahh’ when drinking tea,” she states. “Also, liking mince pies. Saying ‘I don’t understand’. Making phone calls after 7pm. Caring about fuel economy (the worst).”

It’s all downhill from here. Let’s all get skateboards.

Tune in tonight, tweeters, for another Bedtime Question!